A TWITTER REPLY
I had an encounter with a man on twitter, a man vehemently supporting triple talaq. I believe he has good intentions and he too wants to protect women, the problem however is that he is somewhat misinformed. We had a long debate over the issue. The beginning of the debate was good but after a while he started repeating the same stuff over and over again and I decided to exit the debate for the night promising him a proper answer next day. Given below is the answer and a explanation as to why is he wrong.
My dear friend, I am extremely sorry for leaving the discussion last night. i felt it was right on my part to have left rather than waste any more energy in making you understand the point I am trying to make! I also believe that you weren’t able to understand me probably because of the language deficit between us.
This is my very last attempt to make you understand the problem with triple talaq and why it MUST be revoked. And yes do not worry, all your argument of last night will be covered and answered!
1. I am not against divorce – It may seem to you but I am not saying that a husband or a wife should not divorce the other person if they feel that the marriage isn’t working or if they feel that they would be better off with someone else. All I am saying is that a divorce MUST be a result of mutual consent between the two partners who once mutually got married. I do accept your point that if a husband does not like his wife anymore, he must move out of the marriage and the woman should not call such a man her husband. But what we must not forget that marriage is a contract between a husband and a wife. A husband does not have the right to simply move out of the marriage, any time at his will without being penalized. Any person breaching a contract must be penalized and the other party must be justly compensated for the breach of contract.
2. Now coming on to punishments – there are two possible and major reasons why husband leave their wives 1. Because they want to marry someone else or 2. They are no longer happy in the marriage or the marriage ain’t working.
a. In the case where a husband wants to leave because he wants to marry someone else, the only provision, which you call punishment, is that he must first get the approval of his wife and also return the ‘Meher’ . Mmeher is something which he does not have to pay from his own pocket as it is the amount which he was given by the wife’s family during marriage.
And approval from his divorced wife is easy to get and even if one fails to get the approval, he can easily live with the other woman without officially marrying her!
Where is the Punishment for the man? Where is the fine?
b. In cases where the husband simply wants to end the contract & leave because he feels that the marriage isn’t working for whatever reasons, it is even simpler for the man. He simply has to say talaq, talaq, talaq and return the meher and live his life peacefully without any issues while the woman bears the pains and stigma of a divorced woman. Her entire life is ruined.
The punishment in this case is not for the man but for the woman. Why is the man not being punished?
You may say that there are punishments under sharia for crimes but my dear friend, there is none for such cases and for men who leave their wives to suffer. And as long as Sharia is used in Muslim civil matters, especially in cases of triple talaq, these men will not be punished and they will continue suppressing women and women shall forever live under the fear of desertion. In order to bring justice to women, in order to punish such men, who you yesterday called ‘kameene’ it is important that the Muslims must also follow the Indian civil procedure so that these men could be dragged to the courts and just punishments/fines be imposed on them.
I am not against divorce. I am against men walking freely after triple talaq while women living a pitiful life, branded as a divorcee. I request you all to kindly support the implementation of a uniform Civil Code in India so that the Muslim women here could go to the court and charge their ex-husbands for an unjust divorce.
3. You also said that instead of revoking sharia and instead of implementing the Uniform Civil Code we must try and make our women independent by educating them. You called for the implementation of various kinds of rights and privileges for women. Now let me tell how wrong you are and how shallow your logic is.
a. Right to education is already a fundamental right under Article 21A of our constitution. It was incorporated much after the constitution was completely drafted. The aim was to expand the reach of education and to make individuals independent. However, the set aim has not been absolutely achieved and the reason behind it is not only the unavailability of schools but also people’s reluctance to send their children to schools. In fact, in the villages of our country people are so reluctant that despite they availability of schools, they prefer to send their children to work. Only by incentivizing education through mid-day meals, the government has managed to inflate the number of children in the govt schools. However, there is still an imbalance; the number of boys going to these schools is far more than the number of girls. The reason being that their parents do not consider it important to send their girl child to schools. The situation is very bad and 100% education of both the sexes, a requisite to personal independence, is yet far far away and I do not see it coming in our country for at least the next two decades. Also it is men who decide whether or not to send the child to school,Why would men who have been feeding off women's illiteracy and their dependence on men send their girls to school. school where these girls through which they could possibly acquire their freedom.
You see even right to education and right to employment or right to food cannot work untill & unless is supplemented with a uniform civil code. UCC will make women capable to utilise these already rights to attain their freedom & independence.
For at least the next 20 years all women in our country wouldn’t be educated let alone them being independent. Do u suggest that until then the women must continue suffering ?
You also named a number of Bollywood actresses who despite being divorced are living a happy life. Well, my dear friend, they are famous, rich, educate & independent women living in a society much different than ours. Divorce for them is not as big a deal as for us. Women around us cannot be compared to them.
Well I do agree that conditions should be developed for women to grow into independent beings. But for until that happens we cannot and should not let women suffer. The only solution to the problem of tormenting & unjust divorce through triple talaq is a nationwide implementation of the Uniform civil code which will bring Muslim women under the protection of our judiciary. It is time to divorce our personal laws.